We arrived in Chicago for the Autism One conference. I miss B and Jilly so much! This is probably hard on Jilly because she doesn't understand why we are gone. I'm trying not to think about it.
Part of me feels like an impostor (one of B's favorite words) like we shouldn't be here because we don't have an autism diagnosis. The other part of me is so ready to learn all I can to help Bryson. I'm especially looking forward to the day devoted to special diets. That should qualify us, right? Also, I need to learn more about sensory processing disorder. It will be great to meet other parents who are experiencing all that we are experiencing.
I'm really hoping the issue of tantrums will come up. B gets frustrated so easily. Not angry, but frustrated. He will fixate on one thing until it is resolved. When he was two, he threw a tantrum that lasted 1 hour and 22 minutes. We should have known something was up, then. His behavior has improved by leaps and bounds since he's been on the rotation diet. However, he does still have his moments, especially when triggered by an allergic reaction.
I hate it when people see his tantrums. I know they are thinking, "that child needs a good spanking!" He gets a label as a difficult child. He is compared to his easy going baby sis. I'm guilty of making comparisons myself. I hope anyone who has witnessed B's challenging moments could see the child he really is. Sometimes I think if people could see how much I love him, they would see that he is truly an amazing little boy. It's silly, I know, but the other day I was staring at him intently with love just willing anyone to see how lovable this little guy is. Perhaps I am just paranoid. I know he is adored many of our friends and family.
I feel guilty (a mommy's most felt feeling, I think) even writing this. So, now let me fill you in on my little guy's endearing qualities...there are many :) He is super creative. He can make up stories on the spot. His vocabulary is huge for an almost four year old. He is so sweet. At night he asks for a prayer and then asks me to be his "snuggle bug" while we sing lullabies. He is thoughtful. Last week a little boy dropped an armful of books and B stopped playing to help him pick them up. He has the cutest little boy face I have ever seen. He is awesome with his little sister. He watches out for her and is disappointed when it's her bedtime. He is proud of his family. He loves to brag on his mommy and daddy. He is brilliant. When he hugs me with his skinny little arms, my heart just melts. Can you tell I miss him?
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