Twas the Night Before.

Four years ago tonight, I couldn't sleep.  I knew I was about to set eyes on my baby boy for the first time.  I imagined his eyes, his nose, his fingers, his face.  The anticipation was intense.  I knew my life would change.  I knew I loved this little person more than my own life.  I. could. not. wait. to. hold. him.

At 2:50 pm on June 23rd, my little monkey arrived.  Exhausted after 3 hrs of pushing, I held him in my arms.  He looked up at me with his squinting blue eyes.  And I thanked God.  Although I imagined him, my mind's image did not even compare this child's beauty.  He was/is a miracle.  I peered into his little face and said, "I'm your momma."  I can still remember how he felt, cheek on my collar bone, curled up into a warm little ball of new life.  Kisses, a million kisses on his soft downy hair.

Someone once told me, a child told me, "He's going to touch a lot of lives."  And he has and he does and most of all he touches their hearts.  What a blessing this sweet boy is.  What an absolute gift from our Heavenly Father.  Happy birthday B.  I love you more than you will ever comprehend. You, child, are so very special to me.

Woot Woot!

We have had an AMAZING week!  B's sensory issues seem to be disappearing one by one.  He swinging has gone from a little swing to..kicking the leaves!  He used the hand dryer at the drive in last night!  He put lotion on this morning!   He ate sunflower seeds, when the texture used to revolt him.  I am one happy momma :)

Biomedical treatment sometimes gets a bad rap.  I've heard comments like, "there's no science behind it to prove it works."  "Parents are just grasping at straws and subjecting their kids to unnecessary treatment."  Let me tell you, I do not care what the critics say.  I have living, breathing, high swinging, proof.  I have yet to figure out why some seem to think changing the foods that our children eat and giving them supplements is extreme.  For my boy's sensitive system, dosing him with Haldol would have been extreme.  Extra vitamins and whole foods, not so much.

B started probiotics this week to get rid of the yeast in his gut.  When researching probiotics we found that children often regress a little while their bodies are detoxing.  I'd say B must be in the detox phase.  He is bouncing off the walls.  He can't sit still for even 30 seconds.  He is constantly talking and when he runs out of things to chatter about, he reverts to babbling like his little sister.  He's having monster meltdowns over trivial things.  I guess this is good news.  Die yeasties!  You nasty little buggers!  Seeing him act like this has really shown me how far he has come.  He used to be this way ALL the time.  And to think I thought he was just quirky.....denial.  Thank you God for the tics!  Without them, we never would have sought treatment.

Now, my mission is to make a gluten, dairy, rice free birthday cake.....and have it taste good.  Little man is turning 4!

The Great Horned Owl

This week, I was reading Character Sketches to B.  A great book!  The first chapter was about the great horned owl.  When the weather is cold, the great horned owl will forgo eating to sit on her eggs....during the entire incubation period!  If she leaves the nest, her eggs could get to cold and the owlets could die.  Even when a blizzard rolls in, she will not leave her eggs to fly to safety.  What an amazing mother!

I felt very convicted after reading this.  I sometimes resent that my schedule is so full of cooking, cleaning, being needed.  (Wow!  That was hard to admit!)  It feels that every minute is taken up with work.  I become very self centered and therefore, self serving.  God blessed me with two beautiful children, a wonderful husband, and I complain about not getting my wants met.  Yet the great horned owl goes without eating! to meet the needs of her children.  When God molds me, I sometimes don't like what I see in my 'character sketch.'  I am, however, grateful He reveals my shortcomings.  These are things I really need to pray about and work on.  I need to:

*Bless my family by taking care of them and not do it 'out of duty.'
*Take more time to play with B&J.
*Enjoy every precious moment I have with my children.
*Give thanks that I have the opportunity to care for my family.
* Stop self serving and gain a servants heart.


 "You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. " ~Galatians 5:13

Kicking Leaves

  B used to love to swing.  He would say, "higher, higher!  Want to kick leaves!"  We would push him so high his feet would touch the tree branches and he would belly laugh.  I remember getting bored with the swinging, but never bored with the giggle.  One day, while at the park, I put him in the swing.  I put his little legs through the leg holes and proceeded to give him a push.  He immediately started screaming, "stop! STOP!  Too high! Too high!"  It was only half as high as we would push him at home.  I didn't realize, then, that this was a sign of a sensory disorder.  I just thought he was grumpy and didn't want to swing.  These past two years, B would only swing on his tummy, very slowly and low.  That is, until this week.  B sat in his swing, clung to the chains, and said, "Push me mommy!"  It wasn't too high, but this is a start!  I'm really hoping he'll eventually kick the leaves and belly laugh.

B has a fear of the vacuum cleaner.  When he was younger he would scream in terror at the noise it made.  I learned to warn him in advance so he could to go to his room and shut the door.  Tonight, when I started up the vacuum, he sat in the kitchen.  He did not run to his room and I thought, "Hmm.  This is progress!"  Then I saw his little face peek around the corner and in an apprehensive voice, he said, "Mommy?  Can I help?"  He proceeded to take the handle as I helped him pass the vacuum across the floor.

These may seem like small things, but they are HUMONGOUS (as B would say) to me.  I am so proud of him for facing his fears and doing what is more than uncomfortable for him.  He is a little fighter.  I am so thankful God blessed me with this stubborn little boy. 

Chocolate Avocado Pudding

I've had a lot of requests for this from friends with food allergic kids, those who are health conscious, and those with morbid curiosity.  So, here it is.  Enjoy....or not. :)

From the Autism One Conference.  Recipe by Anna Sobaski
www.breadsfromanna.com
(She has awesome gluten free bread mixes and even a few rice free mixes.  A rare find, let me tell you!)

Avocado Chocolate Pudding

Ingredients:
2 ripe avocados
3 T pure maple syrup
1/4 c blue agave syrup
1 1/2 t balsamic vinegar
2 t vanilla extract (I used more)
2/3 c dark cocoa powder (I would use less next time. It was really chocolate-y!)
Pinch of salt

(I added a little cinnamon)

1. Place all ingredients in a blender or food processor and blend until creamy. Adjust flavor with more balsamic if necessary.

No Cheese....But a Little Whine

We took B to his DAN doctor yesterday.  I was really hoping he would tell us we could start adding some foods back into B's diet.  No such luck.  In fact, when I asked when we could begin this process, he said, "When he is college age."  I guess he's the expert, but part of me wants to get a second opinion.  I didn't intend for this blog to be a whine session, but today I feel discouraged....so I'll allow myself a little self indulgence.  This stinks.  I feel a little better.

B's hair analysis showed high levels of mercury and aluminum.  His tin levels were off the charts.  Where in the world could he be getting so much tin?  Even the Doc. was stumped. 

I came up with a new system for the rotation diet.  I really hope it works!  15 more years of the same food might drive us all crazy.  This system will allow for a variety of recipes.  

B's doctor said we could try palm shortening.  I thought it was off limits because of his coconut allergy.  If he can tolerate it, it will open the door to new wonderful things, like cookies!  Prayers for no reaction to this are greatly needed and appreciated!

The message at church today hit home.  The story was David and Goliath.  Pastor asked, "What do you do when faced with a challenge?  Do you focus on the challenge or do you focus on God?"  Perhaps today I have been focusing on the challenge.  Silly, when my God is so much bigger than this.  I've been staring at Goliath when God is the real giant. 

Ticking, But A Good Day Nonetheless

The tics are back again today.  I knew it was going to be a tough day when this morning, B woke up and said, "It's too bright!  It's too bright in here!"  He hadn't displayed a hypersensitivity to light in months!  Then, at Jazzercise, he had a complete (B before special diet) meltdown.  This evening, we are back to shoulder popping and vocal tics.  I wonder what caused this?  I feel a little like a detective.  Is he developing a corn allergy?  Has he been exposed to strep?  Was it the Smarties lollipop I let him have because I 'assumed' it was safe?  I am determined to find the source.

On a happier note, B looooved the avocado pudding.  We finally found a way to get good Omega 3's in our boy.  Jilly loved it too!  I should have photographed their pudding faces.  Jilly had a full beard and B a Groucho Marx mustache.

We planted our garden today and B was so happy to help.  He'd carry each plant to us and brag about his muscles along the way.  I let him smell the basil and he said, "It smells like pizza!"  Then he prayed, "God, please make this plant grow into a special pizza for me.  Amen."  I love that he is talking to God freely.  I wonder what B must think of our garden.  Later, he accidentally stepped on the spaghetti squash plant and said, "Oh no!  Mommy, I just stepped on the spaghetti plant!"  In his mind, we are growing fully cooked meals.  Now wouldn't that be something!