Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Answered Prayer

I'm sitting in the living room of my Mom's house.  This is the house where I spent all my preteen/teen years.  It's funny how I suddenly feel like that teenager immediately when I step through the door.  I remember dreaming about my future.  I'd marry the perfect guy who would always hold my hand.  check.  We'd have adorable children.  Check.  I'd be the kind of mom who bake cookies for my kids.  (Gluten free/dairy free/low sugar on rare occasions). Check.  Read them bedtime stories. Check.  Snuggle for hours on end. (A few minutes here and there between laundry, cleaning the kitchen, cooking, letting the dog out....) Check.  My house would look like the houses in magazines. Ummm....  My children would always behave.  Errrr...  I would make sure I always looked very nice when my husband got home from work....Uhhhh.  Dinner would be on the table at 5:30. ehhhh....  Life would be easy breezy....Hahaahahaaa!

Looking back, I realize I had planned a big snooze fest.  My reality is much, much better.  What I have is a husband who loves me unconditionally even on the days I look a mess.  He is my soul mate.  I am so blessed.  Two adorable kids who crack me up, make me smile, and melt my heart.  A house that is full of love...and clutter...but mostly love.  A life that is full of challenges, big challenges, that constantly remind me to lean on God.  I have to admit, lately I've not been so good about leaning on God.  I've been so wrapped up in the day to day, I'm gonna do it my way, that I lost sight of the fact that God is looking out for us.  God showed me, through B, that I need to lean on Him.

B has an extreme fear of swallowing pills.  He takes a lot of them and I have to get creative and hide them.   Just saying the words, "This would be so much easier if you would learn to swallow pills," would cause him to panic and cry.  Sometimes he would run off.  He was terrified.  Two nights ago, we started him on Olive Leaf Extract to combat the Strep antibodies.  This is BITTER medicine.  I sprinkled the contents of the pill on jelly and he choked it down, literally, in 4 swallows.  He was crying, it was that bad.  Then I said the dreaded words mentioned above.  He immediately put his hands over his mouth and cried.  "I can't swallow pills.  I don't want to swallow pills!"  He was still upset when I tucked him into bed.  I covered him up and said, can I pray for you about swallowing pills?  He gave me permission and I began, asking God to make B brave.  I don't like to reveal this, but I had doubt.  I didn't think God was going to answer that it was too big a request.  Silly, considering God can move mountains!

This morning, I told B he could have a bike if he'd swallow a pill.  Yes, I used bribery, but this was a really big deal.  He was terrified, and asked, "But mommy what if it goes down my wrong pipe?"  B is very literal.  He really thought we all have a right pipe and a wrong pipe.  I answered, "We only have one pipe.  Can you feel it?" B, looking at me incredulously, "We do?  Only one pipe?  I don't have a wrong pipe?"  At this point, I'm trying really hard not to laugh.  B took the pill from my hand, walked over to his cup of water, and swallowed the pill!  From terror to fearless!  A smile of relief broke out on his face.  "That wasn't so bad!"  I kid you not, he took all his suppliments that way today!  I am thoroughly convinced God made B brave.  And B is convinced, too.  Later on in the day he said, "Mommy, if I get scared to swallow pills again, we can pray again.  That's just in case God loses my braveness."

I am ashamed that I doubted.  I am in awe that God used my little boy to minister to my heart.  He showed me that He is watching over us, loving us.  God is good!  So good!

Monday, December 20, 2010

Gripping the Wagon

Today I really wanted to throw in the towel and give my boy a cheeseburger....but I didn't.  That's all :)

Saturday, December 11, 2010

PANDAS.....It has a name!

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have diagnosis.  I can't tell you how much relief it brings me to give a name to this thing.  B has PANDAS or ‘Pediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorder Associated with
Streptococcus.'  I'd like to tell you all about this disease named after a cute, lovable bear but it's all new to me and I have a lot of research to do.  Here is a link full of great information:

Here are a few things we found out today:
1. B is not metabolizing saturated fats properly so we will be adding more.

2. We should have started B12 shots and olive leaf extract months ago.  We have a loooooong list of supplements to add to his already extensive list.  Any tips for a little guy who can't swallow pills and hates smoothies?

3. There is an Asian Market that has sweet potato pasta.  Can't wait to get back to that city so I can hunt for these!

4. B is hypoglycemic in the night and needs a high protein snack before bed.

5. His yeast has increased (already knew that) so we need to increase his crazy expensive probiotics.  If you see us in our van without hubcaps please know we bought probiotics instead.  Ha!

6.  B has not grown at all (height or weight) in the past 3 months...probably longer.  Hopefully with these supplements, he absorb more nutrition.

7. His metal levels have decreased a little, so he's chelating on his own a little.  With the exception of mercury.  He is still accumulating and we have no idea how.

I'm sitting here in B's movie theater.  (His dark room, bottom bunk, and a portable DVD player).  We are watching Dumbo.  This was his favorite when he was 2.  It's bringing back so many memories.  He has a wooden magnetic train he used to push up and down the hallway singing, "Dumbo choo choo train.  Going down the track. With a smoky stack."  I now see the love Dumbo's mother had for him in a whole new light.  She would do anything to protect her sweet baby.  Just like we are doing everything we can to protect and treat our sweet B.

Earlier this week, we made a chocolate cake (the best ever!) for B to take to Cubbies to celebrate Jesus's birthday.  B asked me, "Are we sharing with my friends?"  I told him there would be other cake for his friends.  His response: "Oh, so just me and Jesus are going to eat it?"  I love this little guy so much!  He never fails to make me smile.