That is, until I started thinking about B's journey. I realized I have a lot in common with the grumbling Israelites. For a while, I had been thinking, what if we never knew about B's allergies? Wouldn't life be simpler? Stress free? Ignorance is bliss. If I had known Dr. B was going to test B that very first appointment (and known the outcome), would I have gone? When I see kids that show the telltale signs of food allergy and their parents do not know...is their life better? More relaxed?
God gave the Israelites manna. It literally fell from the sky. They had the assurance that they wouldn't go hungry. "Who will give us meat to eat? We remember the fish which we ate freely in Egypt, the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic; but now our whole being is dried up; there is nothing at all except this manna before our eyes!" (Numbers 11:4-6)
God gave us the tools to heal B. He gave us the ability to afford the foods that B needs. He has provided so much and I sound like the Israelites. "When can we eat like normal people? I remember the restaurant trips, the pizzas, the birthday cake, the potluck dinners. Now there is nothing at all except all this organic produce, gluten free grains, and free range buffalo, emu, and elk." Ha! When I look at it like that...what a whiner I have been! God has been so good!
God gave the Israelites manna. It literally fell from the sky. They had the assurance that they wouldn't go hungry. "Who will give us meat to eat? We remember the fish which we ate freely in Egypt, the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic; but now our whole being is dried up; there is nothing at all except this manna before our eyes!" (Numbers 11:4-6)
God gave us the tools to heal B. He gave us the ability to afford the foods that B needs. He has provided so much and I sound like the Israelites. "When can we eat like normal people? I remember the restaurant trips, the pizzas, the birthday cake, the potluck dinners. Now there is nothing at all except all this organic produce, gluten free grains, and free range buffalo, emu, and elk." Ha! When I look at it like that...what a whiner I have been! God has been so good!
God promised to lead the Israelites to the Promised Land. They started to doubt, to become blind to God's providence. All this time God has been healing Bry, I started to doubt, to complain, to focus on how hard the journey is. I started to become blind to God providence. He's brought B so far, so far that B's PANDAS is becoming less apparent. Why was I complaining? Yes, the journey is tough....but isn't that what makes the destination sweeter? B was in bondage to his illness, his allergies, his sensitivities, his fear, OCD, tics. Little by little God has healed these things, is still healing them. Why in the world would I complain and look longingly back at life before we knew? Just like the the Israelites looking longingly back at their slavery in Egypt.
I'm looking forward now, and thanking God for the journey. Thanking Him for guiding us and providing for us. Thanking Him for loving B and watching over him. I'm done wallowing. Done. God has been so, so good to us. It's time He is given the glory!
Great post! I love it. I love to see your heart for God as you walk through this journey with B. It can be so discouraging and heart breaking. But we have the Great Physician, Healer, and merciful God on our side and He will provide as we need it.
ReplyDeleteWe had a situation this week with a doctor where I just wanted to throw my hands up in the air and give up. We needed her to go in direction A, she went in B and totally ignored what was in front of her face, and I just wanted to slam doors until I felt better. Then God gave me a glimpse, right in that moment in her office, of my son that I have never had before. I think I know what's going on with him. Even though she gave me the blank stare like she didn't know what was I meant, God is leading us in very clear directions to help him with this issue.
He lead them out of that desert in His timing. He leads us out of ours in His same perfect timing.