Friday, February 8, 2013

Highschool or Facebook?

She makes me uncomfortable.  I don't need that.  *Unfriend*
Wow.  She really needs to get a grip.  I can't even deal with that kind of crazy.  *Unfriend*
I know she's family, but only distantly, and darn if she doesn't just ruin my rose colored glasses. *Unfriend*

I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook.  On the one hand, I love staying in touch with friends.  Through facebook, I've started a support group for families dealing with food allergies.  The people in the group have been a tremendous help to me.  There are Christian Homeschooling groups, biomed groups, mothering groups.  So much support!  And lets face it, when you are a stay at home, homeschooling mom, your opportunity for socializing with other adults is slim.

Have you ever had one of those awkward phases of life?  Where everything you said and did just didn't fit in?  For me, it was 7th grade till, I don't sophomore year of high school? I still cringe when I think of some of the things I said and did trying to fit in, only to look more out of place trying too hard.  One thing was apparent in that atmosphere.  If you didn't conform, you were not cool.  (Okay, so 'cool' is probably not a word anyone uses anymore, so insert whatever the kids are saying now.)  So, the last three years of high school were spent making poor choices to finally fit in.  Trading what I knew was right for what was not good...but was popular.

I feel like I'm there again, that fork in the road.  But this time, I absolutely cannot trade my values to fit in.  I can't trade our experience for acceptance.  If I am quiet about it, I will be well loved.  If I continue to speak out, I will continue to be judged.  

Here is the truth.  I wish somebody would have been brave enough to speak to me before I had children.  I wish I had known the other side.  I wish people weren't scared to share their experiences.  If nobody talks, nothing changes.

Our world tells me I am selfish because it's my civic duty to protect the greater good.  For those who believe that, I would tell you that it is selfish to believe that you are entitled to the health of my children.  God placed them in my care.  That is not selfish, it is taking care of the children God blessed us with.  

I am still learning.  I am still trying to sort it all out.  If who you see is a 'crazy' mom, then please do us both a favor and click the *unfriend* feature on Facebook.  You don't need my posts to ruin your day and I honestly don't need the judgment.  Just know what you don't see.  The private messages, the children healing because of information other mothers (and fathers) have shared, the friends needing advice...needing support.  You do not see behind the scenes.  You do not hear the stories.  You have not met the children affected.  I have.

Even if my knees are shaking, I'm going to remain the geeky (is that word used anymore?) girl who stands by her convictions.  I believe I'll risk getting kicked off the Friends List.



  1. Okay, friend, let's get something're too cute and sweet to be geeky!!! You stand by your convictions because no one else is going to. That's why God made YOU a parent to your children. He needs YOU, the way YOU are to do a job that He'll be proud of. I think you're a fabulous, poster, Mommy!!! <3

  2. I made the decision at the end of last year to get off FB. Oh sure I miss many friends and seeing and hearing all the ins and outs of their lives, but it was the best thing for me and my family. I could not deal with the HS BS that many play on FB. I have no intentions of getting back on, but I can see why it is therpy to you and to so many. Stand your ground for your views. Maybe even "unfriend" a few.

  3. While I left FB for totally different reasons, I have experienced the frustration and annoyance you are describing. Funny, you are harassed for standing up for what you believe, but you and your husband were my favorite people to see a post from when I was there because I knew I would either find a kindred spirit on a topic or would learn something new. Keep doing what you are doing. If you help just one single person say, "what if", then your time there has been well spent.

    Hugs to you, sweet friend!

  4. You are awesome! You and Erik (mostly via Facebook) have been a great resource to my family. Don't let the negative comments get you down. You can offer education and tell your story to others but at the end of the day your responsibility is to your family only. Do everything you can to make this world a better place for your kids to live but others have to make their own choices. I have learned this the hard way in trying to educate others about adoption, racism etc, people are always going to judge, ask stupid questions and say insensitive things. At some point it all becomes exhausting and I just have to protect my family. Hang in there!