Waves

Exhausted.  Happy. Full of cherished memories.

We just returned from a much needed vacation.  It was one of those vacations where you wish you could stay for weeks on end.  There is one memory I hope I will always hold in my heart and my mind.

Jilly, standing with bare little toes in the ocean for the first time.  She watched a big (to her) wave rolling in.  Anticipation filled her face.  For a moment, I could see she was contemplating backing up, but instead, she held her arms out, splayed her fingers and braced herself for the wave.  She lit up with gleeful anticipation.  Wild giggles escaped her lips as the wave came closer.  Her whole little body shook with laughter as the cold wave splashed her legs.  She repeated this again and again.

I want to be like Jilly.  Facing life with laughter, enjoying the anticipation of what God has in store for us.  These three years, I have been fearful, anxious, stressed out.  As if wading into the ocean, I became weak, letting the waves knock me down, only to get up and get knocked down again.  I'm done with it.  That's not to say I won't get caught off guard and fall once in a while.  But I choose to face life with joy.

God is in control.  He is.  I can cherish every moment with my family.  I can find joy without letting PANDAS/controversy/what other people think of us/worry about the future/worry about all the world's children - overshadow every joyful moment.  This week has shown me that.  What a timely blessing it has been.

A few highlights from our vacation:

Erik's mom traveled with us.  I can't even begin to tell you how special that made our trip.  We are so very blessed.

B sang karaoke!  Shy little B.  Twice!  Can you say milestone?  Once was even a solo!

Jilly sang karaoke...alot....she dominated the mic. :)  Somebody even asked her if she wouldn't mind singing Happy Birthday to their son.  

At Disney Studios, there is a giant "spider web" in the Honey I Shrunk the Kids park.  For the first time, B went in it again and again.  He was not scared of how high it was!  This from a little guy who usually will not climb to the high part of McDonald's play structures.  I think he is conquering his fear of heights.

B came down with a fever one of the days and his tics did not increase.  In fact, he has been mostly symptom free for the entire week.  A few facial tics and head rolls....but very infrequent.  This is the best he has been all year.  All year!

B was able to eat in a restaurant 3 times!  Our horizons are expanding.

Jilly kept us laughing the entire trip.  Seriously.  I don't know where she gets her sense of humor, but she had us in stitches.

Erik was in control and kept his cool through all the vacation stresses.  He is a master vacation planner and we all reaped the benefits.  It was so much fun!

It's easy to forget the worries of life on vacation, but coming back home is a little more challenging.  For now, I've deactivated my Facebook account to focus on what brings me joy.  Two sweet little kiddos and their amazing Daddy.  Also, to spend more time in prayer and study.  I'm ashamed to admit, I let myself get so wrapped up in stress and worry, that I've neglected to spend time with my Heavenly Father who...well...has blessed us, helped us, provided for us, cared for us, and loves us.  

 I may not be as brave as little Jilly, but I'm going to stand tall, brace myself with prayer, and find joy in the waves that come rolling in.