Thursday, June 13, 2013

It's Time...

When I started this blog, I was looking down a winding path.  I didn't know what this journey would entail, what it was, or even how to begin.  With each step, I've poured out my heart.  I bared my soul with such vulnerability that I sometimes shook with nerves after I hit 'publish.'  I have learned so much..and shared it.  I have grieved so much...and shared it.  I have felt peace...and shared, joy...and shared, fear...and shared, anger...and shared.  I have been judged and it stung.  I have been encouraged and it felt like a million helium balloons lifting me into the clouds.  We have been prayed for...and you'll never know this side of Heaven how much that has meant to us.

B is getting older now.  So much a mix of little boy and big boy that I get a lump in my throat when I see his features changing.  New, grown up teeth.  Sweet little man ears.  All knees and elbows.  I swell with pride when I see the wonderful person he is now and is growing up to be.  I have no doubt he will touch many lives.  Along with his growing up, comes the release of some of little boy I've been holding onto.  He is becoming a boy with his own ideas, his own set of feelings, and perhaps a need for privacy.

I wonder how many tears of triumph and pain I've poured into this blog?  They must be innumerable.  I've been working on releasing pain and acknowledging blessings.  The blessings are many.  Moving on from this blog is part of that process.  There is so much pain on these pages. \I need to move beyond that pain and rest fully in the assurance that God has this.  He has always had this. We still have a ways to go.  We still struggle.  B could still use a lot of prayer.  But he is flourishing in ways I didn't think possible.  The path still winds and the end is still unseen.  But we are not walking this alone.  Thank you for following us, helping us, loving us, and praying for us.  Thank you, Heavenly Father, for carrying us.  We will make it to the end of this path and what a glorious day that will be!


1 comment:

  1. Nope. I am sorry. I refuse to receive this as reality in my world. You will just need to change your plans. I don't like it!!! (stomping foot in my best 3 year old little girl imitation)

    I understand completely, however. It's been a wild ride. I have loved all you have shared and have enjoyed learning about B. I have learned so much from you, your husband, and your blog and have helped other families with some of that information. I will continue to pray for you guys and for B's continued growth and healing.