Friday, May 18, 2012

A Cherry on Top

Last night, I dreamed we were at an ice cream shop.  I walked up to the counter and ordered a gigantic chocolate sundae for B.  He looked at me with pure elation on his face and said, "Is it okay?  Can I really have this?"  I told him, "Yes."  But in the back of my mind, I was thinking, "Something is not right."  An internal panic took over.  I was torn between that delightful anticipation on his face and the sudden realization that he is allergic to that sundae.  Not just a little bit allergic, but throwing up, itchy hives, and who knows what else allergic.  Yet in my dream I was going to let him eat it.  Toss caution to the wind and let him enjoy the taste of the cold sweetness.  As if letting him eat that ice cream would be the end of the allergies.  A big "Take That!"  One act of rebellion to put the food allergies in their place.  I woke up feeling so many things: fear/happiness then empowered/defeated.  Crazy dreams.

B is getting older and we are getting a lot of questions as to the necessity of the diet, the validity of the allergens, if just one wouldn't hurt, is he thin because of the foods he eats or can not eat.  Please know that we have researched everything extensively.  We don't follow advice blindly.  We pray daily.  We've seen the positive changes in his health.  And we make sure B gets a balanced array of foods that contain fats and vitamins and minerals and calcium and iron and......

We would give B that ice cream, cake, chips, pizza, etc. if we could.  We do not follow this protocol for sympathy, attention, be pain in the tush helicopter parents.  Believe me when I say that if an ice cream sundae would paint that beautiful smile on his face without causing bodily harm, I'd be the first in line asking for two scoops, whipped cream, and a cherry on top.  That ice cream represents a big dose of normalcy.  And my wouldn't normalcy taste good!

1 comment:

  1. You are such an amazing Mother!!!! And I love this post btw!