Calling All Mommies: I need some advice.....

We received B's recent labs in the mail today.  Frustrating.  His yeast has grown a lot.  I hate yeast.  Hate it.  This has made me realize that we can't let our guard down.  I thought the whole cooking for B was getting easier, but honestly, I think I've been more lax.  His labs are showing that.  I need to get radical cutting out sugar.  I'm at a loss for breakfast ideas.  One morning he can have eggs, the next almond milk and corn chex, but after that I don't know.  If pancakes, waffles, and muffins are out..I have no ideas.  Any ideas all you mommies out there dealing with yeast overgrowth in your kiddos?  Rice is out for us....

Another bump in the road: shoes.  B can't stand the feel of them on his feet.  He will tolerate swim socks, but it's November, and we need to progress.  He's growing out of most of his shoes, but every time we try on a new pair, he freaks out a little and yells, "Too tight!  Too tight!" even if they are sliding around on his feet.  Any suggestions here?

Winding down is getting harder, too.  He's having a rough time winding down to sleep.  Meaning he is doing gymnastics and shuttle runs back and forth across his room, staying awake in his bed, hearing every little sound.

This mommy's idea tank is empty.  It could be a lot worse and I'm thankful for B's progress.  He's just regressing a little.  I know some of you have super creative ideas....would you mind sharing? :)

Lessons

I'd like to interrupt the HS decision stories with a lesson I learned this week.  I've been worried about how I can teach my children to develop characteristics that I don't have. How can I teach them organization when I am so scattered?  How can I teach them patience when so often I run out of it?  How can I teach them physical education when I am very very VERY uncoordinated?  Seriously, if it has a ball, I can't play it.

If you know me in real life, you will know that I am terrible at following through.  I get excited about something and lose interest half way because I get excited about something else.  For this reason, if you look carefully through my drawers and cupboards (please don't!), you might find:  Jewelry making supplies even though I only made one pair of earrings, artist chalk for that one drawing, a pilates video that made for a challenging workout...twice, half a crocheted potholder, an exercise ball that has become a favorite toy for B&J.....the list goes on....and on....and on.....

This summer, I bought the kids a wading pool.  It had a slipper slide and a dinosaur that sprays water through it's mouth.  B & J had great fun with this!  (four times)  Do you see a pattern here?  In my lack of following through, I drained the pool and let it sit on the deck until this week.  From July to October.  It was green, mossy, slimy, dirty, full of leaves.  All of me wanted to throw it out and forget about it.  The temptation was STRONG.  I looked at B and said, "What if we throw this out and get a different one next year?"  B said, "Mommy, I love it."

That is what I needed to hear.  If I threw it out, what would that teach B about being good stewards of what God has given us?  Aren't I always asking him to pick his toys up so they won't get ruined?  Then it hit me.  This is how I teach my children what I may not possess.  They will observe me dealing with the consequences.  I will learn these traits right along with them.

I explained to B that because I left the pool out to get yucky, it was my responsibility to scrub it clean.  I can not even begin to describe the look of satisfaction it gave him to realize Mommy makes mistakes...and that I had a punishment of sorts.  I scrubbed and sprayed and scrubbed and sprayed.  B and Jilly laughed hysterically when I dropped the sprayer on the ground as it continued to spray me in the face.  I tackled that dinosaur all the while wondering why I hadn't noticed the mocking smirk on its face in July.  It felt good, really good! to get that pool cleaned up and put away.  I didn't have the guilt of ruining their pool and taking the easy way out.

I can't wait to see all the lessons God has planned for my children and me.  Maybe we'll learn organization and patience.  I'm hoping to relearn geography and history.  I didn't pay too much attention the first time around.  You never know, perhaps someday soon I'll be able to throw the football with a perfect spiral...or at least not close my eyes when catching one.

Homeschool Decision Part 2

This is going to sound like it has nothing to do with our decision, but I promise you, it does.  Randomness is my forte.  When I was pregnant with Jilly (2 years ago!) Erik was feeling a nudge to find a new church.  We visited a few but I was pregnant, emotional, and a little unstable.  During one church visit, I was hot, nauseous, and extremely tired.  I just knew that church was not a good fit for us.

 I loooooved the church we were already attending.  I consider the congregation my family.  The pastor had incredible messages every week.  I was involved in ministries.  How could we even think of changing churches?  I told Erik I couldn't do it.  We stayed.  Then a strange thing started to happen.  We slowly became less involved.  We seemed to never be able to go to small group.  We became a little distant with our loved ones there.  Our faith was suffering....really suffering.  We began hit or missing Sundays.

Finally, I realized what I think I knew deep down, all along.  God was calling Erik and I was holding us back.  Ouch.  I was trading comfort for God's plan for our lives.  I still love our old church and it's members.  I would recommend that church to anybody...but God wanted us somewhere else.

I had decided that whatever church Erik decided on was the one we would belong to.  I'm sure you can  guess which on he picked...the one I just knew wasn't a fit for our family.  What a blessing this decision has been!  Turns out pregnancy clouded my vision.  This church challenges me to delve deeper into God's word.  The pastor's messages are so full of truth and make me want to study more.  The people there inspire me with their own walks with God.

I was not letting Erik lead our family.  I was holding us back from living God's will.  For some reason, I tend to learn things the hard way.  I am so thankful our God is gracious and merciful.  That in spite of my disobedience, he continues to bless us.


²²Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. ²³For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. - Ephesians 5:22-24

Homeschool Decision Part I

A little over a year ago, Erik's cousin's were gracious enough to let us stay at their house and watched our children while we had a class.  Their family ties are undeniably strong...and so is their faith in God.  They and their children were so loving and patient with B.  They are a homeschooling family.  I remember sitting around the dinner table while they shared their homeschooling experience with us.  Something struck a chord with Erik and I was thinking, "Wow.  They seem to have it together, but this is NOT something I even remotely want to do."

On the drive home, Erik lay out all the reasons homeschooling would be beneficial.  I retorted with any argument I could come up with.  I dug my heels in and wouldn't budge.  How's that for a Godly wife?  Finally, I just said, "If this is something God wants us to do, He will have to change my heart."  (while thinking, yeah right, not gonna happen!)  I believe I even called up my brother, and my dad, and..... and gave every reason under the sun why I would never homeschool.

This was all before B's allergy diagnosis.  Yet, even after the diagnosis, I was not considering the option.  We moved to this side of town because I loved the school district.  I love the little elementary schools with the little desks and the alphabet on the walls.  I love the kindergarten circle time rug.  I love the teachers I worked with in the schools.  I love school.  There is a reason my degree is in education.

Erik was still feeling the pull to homeschool.  I prayed that God would change my heart.  I not so patiently waited as I looked online at private schools thinking we could come up with a good compromise.

Announcement

After much, much, much, much, much, (nonstop really) prayer, we have made a decision I didn't think I'd make in a million years.  In fact, had somebody told me this 9 years ago as I sat through hours of class at my University, I would have laughed, out loud, for weeks.  Are you ready?  We are going to homeschool B.  Are you now laughing?  Are you concerned?  Are you going to call me in the morning with a "What are you thinking????"  You are not alone.   These thoughts are going through my mind as well.  Not as doubts, but as "Can I really do this?  What is God thinking?"  I'm a little (a lot) scared.  But I am also excited.  God has a perfect plan and I can't wait to see his blessings when we are obedient to Him.  Please know that:  a.) This is God's decision and it's the path we will follow unless He leads us in another direction.  b.) B has lots of interaction and with other children so don't worry.  We have more opportunities than we will even be able to commit to!  c.) We feel we are best able to provide him with the environment and guidance he needs to learn at this point in his life and development.  d.) I'm very new to this kind of life so support and encouragement would be awesome!  e.) We'll start with Kindergarten and reevaluate our decision (God's decision) each year.

Okay, I realize I look like I am defending this move and maybe I am a little.  God knows (boy does he know!) I've wrestled with this for months.  Soon, I will share everything that took us to this place because it is a great story of God's leading.  But not tonight...or this morning (Morning! Yikes!)  Tired mommies are not patient mommies.

Abide in Me

When I started this blog, I promised myself I'd be real.  Even when it's ugly.  As much as I'd like to be always positive, always happy, uplifting...sometimes things can be downright stinky and I can get stuck.  Tonight was one of those nights. 

I'm tired.  I'm worried.  I'm angry.  Really angry.  Jonah not wanting to go to Nineveh angry.  I'm exhausted from tracking everything B puts in his mouth, touches, and breathes.  I let the worry run away with my imagination tonight as the 'what ifs' ran rampant.  What if B's toxin level increases?  What if the yeast keeps building?  What if the pancakes he had for breakfast (and lunch) are harming him because of the maple syrup?  What if that spoon he is using is made of tin?  Will he regresss?  His eye blinking has come back.  What has he come in contact with?  Did he develop a new allergy?  What will his future be?  I read an article about gluten intolerance/leaky gut/and cancer.  I read about aluminum causing dimentia, Alzheimers/other neurological diseases.  What if? What if?  What if?.....  I know this is sinful.  I know shouldn't let my mind dwell on such things.  But tonight, it was dwelling.  Setting up camp in a giant pit of worry and anger.  Anger at the drug companies for pushing this years flu vaccine so hard.  A vaccine that contains the same toxins I'm trying so hard to keep out of my boy.  The same toxins that are wreaking havoc on his system.  Angry that I feel like I am shouting and nobody can hear me. 

Tonight, before I blogged, I knew had to take this all to God lest I sin in my anger.  On my knees before the Father, I prayed that God would heal B.  That he will keep him safe.  The thought God kept giving me was, "I (God) have been on this journey with B thus far.  I have been keeping watch over him."  Our earthly bodies are temporary and someday when we get to heaven, B will be allergy/toxin/yeast free :).  Then I prayed that God would take this worry from me.  I gave all of it to God.  He let me know, "You are not alone.  Abide in me.  I will give you rest."  I should place my faith in His love.  Next, the anger.  I prayed that I don't even know how to let go of the anger tonight.  I'm having such a hard time with forgiveness.  I asked God to help me work through the anger and to forgive.  I asked forgiveness for my hard heart.  I think this is going to take more time and prayer.  If you are reading this, and have a few prayers to spare, please pray that God softens my heart and brings me to a place of forgiveness.

Ms. Lovies

Somebody once told me God gives us the child we need and vice versa.  I have found this very true with both of my children.  More and more I am convinced God gave B the little sister he needed and Jilly the big brother she needed.  Let me introduce my baby girl, Jilly, aka Smoochie, aka Miss Lovies, aka Princess Pootie Poots (not sure she'll be so fond of that one when she is 16.)

As an infant, Jilly was quiet, happy, content.  I know now she was scheming.  Thinking up exciting adventures.  Observing every nook and cranny she would explore when she finally became mobile.  She was dreaming big.  Fast forward to now.  My almost 2 year old baby girl is still happy.  She wakes up in the morning with a big smile on her face and says "Hi Mommy!  Gooda Sleep!"  She is constantly dancing and singing and laughing and talking and talking and talking and talking and......the girl loves to gab.  All. Day. Long.  And I love it.  I knew we were in for some fun when her first full sentence (at 15 months) was to B.  She kissed him and said, "I kiss you!"  Girlfriend has been chattering ever since.  She is a social butterfly.  This week at church, she wanted to listen to the worship music before I took her into the nursery.  When the choir was finished and took their seats, our pastor was getting ready to preach.  Jilly clapped her hands and shouted, "Yay!  Gooda sing Mommy!"

Jilly's personality is magnetic which is wonderful for B.  She makes him giggle and encourages him, "Yay!  Bubba!  Gooda Job!"  She always draws him into her play.  They have their own sibling language and creative games.  I am thankful their bond is so strong.

Because Jilly Baby is so adventurous, she has no fear.  Today, she completely bypassed the baby slides and headed for the tallest tornado slide.  She will jump off any surface at any height whether we are ready to catch her or not.  B is always very cautious.  In fact, he just mastered the tornado slide this month.  Jilly challenges B to try new things and B keeps his eye on her, reminding her of her limits.  "Sissy!  No!  That is too high!  Go down the stairs!"   He is very observant and protective.

B does not like to get dirty.  When B was little, I couldn't understand why some kids had 'play clothes.'  Why not have my boy look very nice all the time?  Jilly cleared up any confusion I had about that.  She explores everything to the fullest.  Paint: rub in the hair, stick in the ear, taste, and then paint with all ten fingers.  Sand: smell, taste, rub in the hair, put some in her shirt for later.  She encourages him to mess it up a little and he helps her dust off.

B is shy.  Very much like his mommy.  He likes to hide behind my legs and I know the feeling.  Sometimes I wish I could still hide behind my mom's legs.  Jilly will has the incredible knack of making everyone smile.  She's never met a stranger (which means she never leaves my sight in public.)  She's fun and boisterous.  B is super creative and imaginative. Together, they have a really great time.  She has really helped B come out of his shell.

When I was pregnant with Jilly, before I knew I was pregnant, B put his hand on my tummy and said, "Baby Sister."  I did not know he even knew what a 'sister' was.  He was only about the age Jilly is now.  That still gives me goosebumps when I think about it.  That their bond could be that strong.  God chose them perfectly for each other.  They have a beautiful friendship and for that I am very thankful.