Jesus Lord, Amen

B has faith so big for a little guy.  He is constantly going to God in prayer.  He loses a toy, he prays about it.  If we go on a trip, he prays about it.  If Jilly is sad, he prays about it.  Sometimes he likes to scribble write letters to God.  Then he asks for an envelope and puts them in the mailbox.  While he writes, he verbalizes what he is "writing."  I learn so much about him by listening in.  When he was almost 3, we were in the middle of eating lunch when he got down from the table and headed outside. I asked him where he was going and he said, "I'm going to talk with God."  I thought maybe he was trying to get out of lunch, but as I listened at the door, he had his face lifted to the sky and was chattering away.  Sometimes, I get so busy, I don't pause to just chat with God.

 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, 
I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10



We had this exchange earlier this week and it made me pause and reflect on my own heart:

B: Mommy?  Do some kids not have families?
Me: Yes.  It's very sad.
B: I'm glad I have a nice family.  Mommy?
Me: Yes?
B: Are some Mommies and Daddies not nice to their children?
Me: Yes.  And that is very sad, too.
B: Why don't those Mommies and Daddies love their kids?
Me: I don't know.  I don't understand it because I love you and Sissy so much.  I feel really bad for kids whose Mommies and Daddies are not nice.  Maybe you could pray for them.
B: Yeah.  And Mommy?  I think we should pray for the Mommies and Daddies, too.

Wow.  What an incredible reminder that we need to pray not just for the innocent, but for the wicked.  Hadn't even crossed my mind, yet my sweet four year old completely gets it.


B: Mommy?  Can we pray together?
Me: Sure baby.

I held B's hand and was about to start the prayer when he began:

"Dear God, please help all the children whose Mommies and Daddies are not nice.  Please help the Daddies and Mommies so they love their kids.  And please help the kids who don't have any families.  Jesus Lord, Amen"

Sneezes and Wheezes

One of B's favorite books is The Berestain Bears' Trouble at school.  Brother bear gets a terrible case of the sneezes and the wheezes.  He watches too much tv and igores his make up work.  Then in Berenstain fashion, he makes the problem much worse but it all turns out great in the end.  They eat chocolate chip cookies and all is forgiven.

This week we all had the sneezes and wheezes, with the exception of Erik.  I was down for almost the whole week, Jilly for about 4 days, and B for 2.  B for two!  This is great progress.  This is the same little boy who used to get sick for at least 2 weeks out of every month.  If there was a virus, he'd get it and hang on to it.  I am now a huge believer in good nutrition and good quality vitamins and supplements!

We have increased his supplements this month and have seen great changes in him.  His tics had started to come back last month, this month they are minimal again.  His under-eye circles have diminished.  His face is filling out.  His energy is through the roof (to the dismay of our furniture...yikes!)  He even ordered his football mascot cards by date.  Ordering is something he struggles with.  Counting and saying the alphabet is a challenge, but he can tell you the names of letters and what sounds they make.  Something about sequencing trips him up.

Back to the sneezes and the wheezes.  When he was feeling his worst, we had this exchange:
B: Mommy, I'm so tired.
Me: I know baby.  That's because you have the sneezes and the wheezes.
B: Does everybody have the sneezes and the wheezes?
Me: Everybody but Daddy.
B: If we kiss Daddy, will they go away?
Me: Why, are you wanting to give your sneezes and wheezes away?
B: Yes.  Come on!  Let's try it!

Poor Daddy :).  For the record, we didn't try it.

Just like brother bear, I fell behind in some of my work.  I did give a good effort, though.  I'm hoping we can all share some cinnamon letters or garfava pancakes and all will be forgiven.

Ms. Lovies

Somebody once told me God gives us the child we need and vice versa.  I have found this very true with both of my children.  More and more I am convinced God gave B the little sister he needed and Jilly the big brother she needed.  Let me introduce my baby girl, Jilly, aka Smoochie, aka Miss Lovies, aka Princess Pootie Poots (not sure she'll be so fond of that one when she is 16.)

As an infant, Jilly was quiet, happy, content.  I know now she was scheming.  Thinking up exciting adventures.  Observing every nook and cranny she would explore when she finally became mobile.  She was dreaming big.  Fast forward to now.  My almost 2 year old baby girl is still happy.  She wakes up in the morning with a big smile on her face and says "Hi Mommy!  Gooda Sleep!"  She is constantly dancing and singing and laughing and talking and talking and talking and talking and......the girl loves to gab.  All. Day. Long.  And I love it.  I knew we were in for some fun when her first full sentence (at 15 months) was to B.  She kissed him and said, "I kiss you!"  Girlfriend has been chattering ever since.  She is a social butterfly.  This week at church, she wanted to listen to the worship music before I took her into the nursery.  When the choir was finished and took their seats, our pastor was getting ready to preach.  Jilly clapped her hands and shouted, "Yay!  Gooda sing Mommy!"

Jilly's personality is magnetic which is wonderful for B.  She makes him giggle and encourages him, "Yay!  Bubba!  Gooda Job!"  She always draws him into her play.  They have their own sibling language and creative games.  I am thankful their bond is so strong.

Because Jilly Baby is so adventurous, she has no fear.  Today, she completely bypassed the baby slides and headed for the tallest tornado slide.  She will jump off any surface at any height whether we are ready to catch her or not.  B is always very cautious.  In fact, he just mastered the tornado slide this month.  Jilly challenges B to try new things and B keeps his eye on her, reminding her of her limits.  "Sissy!  No!  That is too high!  Go down the stairs!"   He is very observant and protective.

B does not like to get dirty.  When B was little, I couldn't understand why some kids had 'play clothes.'  Why not have my boy look very nice all the time?  Jilly cleared up any confusion I had about that.  She explores everything to the fullest.  Paint: rub in the hair, stick in the ear, taste, and then paint with all ten fingers.  Sand: smell, taste, rub in the hair, put some in her shirt for later.  She encourages him to mess it up a little and he helps her dust off.

B is shy.  Very much like his mommy.  He likes to hide behind my legs and I know the feeling.  Sometimes I wish I could still hide behind my mom's legs.  Jilly will has the incredible knack of making everyone smile.  She's never met a stranger (which means she never leaves my sight in public.)  She's fun and boisterous.  B is super creative and imaginative. Together, they have a really great time.  She has really helped B come out of his shell.

When I was pregnant with Jilly, before I knew I was pregnant, B put his hand on my tummy and said, "Baby Sister."  I did not know he even knew what a 'sister' was.  He was only about the age Jilly is now.  That still gives me goosebumps when I think about it.  That their bond could be that strong.  God chose them perfectly for each other.  They have a beautiful friendship and for that I am very thankful.

Lucky Day

We had a much better day today.  B woke up bright and early to help me bake amaranth/quinoa chocolate muffins.  I told him today was a no computer day for me and a not too much television day for him.  He was completely on board.  He said, "Woo Hoo!  Mom, if you use the computer, you will get a fine."  When I asked how I should pay that fine he said, "in my piggy bank."  Smart boy.

We went to Jazzercise and it was fun Friday, which means the kids could dance after class.  They love this!  On the way home, B asked me what a lucky day means.  I told him it is when everything makes you happy.  We ate lunch under the big tree in our front yard.  During our prayer B said, "I'm thankful for God."  Jilly laid on her back, intrigued by all the branches.  B spent his lunch time making us laugh.  Then they played in the bed of the truck.  For some reason this is their favorite activity.  They played until it sprinkled.  I promised B we'd stay out in the sprinkles until they turned to rain.

When Jilly took her nap, B and I  played Buzz, Woody, and Chutes and Ladders people.  Basically the Buzz shows off to the game pieces and they praise everything he does.  We went to the mailbox and we got some junk mail that had happy face stickers.  Of course B thought these were sent to him because it is his 'lucky day.'  Jilly and B had these stickers plastered all over their faces in no time.

B was so sweet to his sister today.  Giving her kisses and helping her.  Jilly was full of love, too.  I think there is something to this no computer/little t.v. thing.  When my attention is elsewhere I tend to miss the blessings God has placed right under my nose.  (I'd better put a quarter in B's piggy bank.  I just wanted to share our 'lucky' day.)

Twas the Night Before.

Four years ago tonight, I couldn't sleep.  I knew I was about to set eyes on my baby boy for the first time.  I imagined his eyes, his nose, his fingers, his face.  The anticipation was intense.  I knew my life would change.  I knew I loved this little person more than my own life.  I. could. not. wait. to. hold. him.

At 2:50 pm on June 23rd, my little monkey arrived.  Exhausted after 3 hrs of pushing, I held him in my arms.  He looked up at me with his squinting blue eyes.  And I thanked God.  Although I imagined him, my mind's image did not even compare this child's beauty.  He was/is a miracle.  I peered into his little face and said, "I'm your momma."  I can still remember how he felt, cheek on my collar bone, curled up into a warm little ball of new life.  Kisses, a million kisses on his soft downy hair.

Someone once told me, a child told me, "He's going to touch a lot of lives."  And he has and he does and most of all he touches their hearts.  What a blessing this sweet boy is.  What an absolute gift from our Heavenly Father.  Happy birthday B.  I love you more than you will ever comprehend. You, child, are so very special to me.

Missing the kids....Hello Chicago

We arrived in Chicago for the Autism One conference.  I miss B and Jilly so much!  This is probably hard on Jilly because she doesn't understand why we are gone.  I'm trying not to think about it.

Part of me feels like an impostor (one of B's favorite words) like we shouldn't be here because we don't have an autism diagnosis.  The other part of me is so ready to learn all I can to help Bryson.  I'm especially looking forward to the day devoted to special diets.  That should qualify us, right?  Also, I need to learn more about sensory processing disorder.  It will be great to meet other parents who are experiencing all that we are experiencing.

I'm really hoping the issue of tantrums will come up.  B gets frustrated so easily.  Not angry, but frustrated.  He will fixate on one thing until it is resolved.  When he was two, he threw a tantrum that lasted 1 hour and 22 minutes.  We should have known something was up, then.  His behavior has improved by leaps and bounds since he's been on the rotation diet.  However, he does still have his moments, especially when triggered by an allergic reaction.

I hate it when people see his tantrums.  I know they are thinking, "that child needs a good spanking!"  He gets a label as a difficult child.  He is compared to his easy going baby sis.  I'm guilty of making comparisons myself.  I hope anyone who has witnessed B's challenging moments could see the child he really is.  Sometimes I think if people could see how much I love him, they would see that he is truly an amazing little boy.  It's silly, I know, but the other day I was staring at him intently with love just willing anyone to see how lovable this little guy is.  Perhaps I am just paranoid.  I know he is adored many of our friends and family.

I feel guilty (a mommy's most felt feeling, I think) even writing this.  So, now let me fill you in on my little guy's endearing qualities...there are many :)  He is super creative.  He can make up stories on the spot.  His vocabulary is huge for an almost four year old.  He is so sweet.  At night he asks for a prayer and then asks me to be his "snuggle bug" while we sing lullabies.  He is thoughtful.  Last week a little boy dropped an armful of books and B stopped playing to help him pick them up.  He has the cutest little boy face I have ever seen.  He is awesome with his little sister.  He watches out for her and is disappointed when it's her bedtime.  He is proud of his family.   He loves to brag on his mommy and daddy.  He is brilliant.  When he hugs me with his skinny little arms, my heart just melts.  Can you tell I miss him?